Being a Good Person

What does it mean to be a good person?

I think that I do good deeds, that I’m polite, that I’m open minded and a good listener, I have patience when needed, I’m courteous, I don’t butt in and I go out of my way to help others. But I don’t know if that makes me a good person.

I have lied and I can’t say that I won’t lie ever again, I think bad things and thoughts, I wish some people would stop talking, I say awful things when I’m angry, I lose my patience, I’m stubborn, I don’t always follow through and I fall short of my own expectations. But does that make me a bad person?

Do any of these things cancel each other out? I don’t believe they do. I’m not sure if someone can be wholly good or wholly bad. I believe that it’s part of human nature to have both good and bad qualities and tendencies.

Granted, some people sway more to the good end of the spectrum and others to the bad. Sometimes you can think you’re doing a good thing and you can feel good about it but if it isn’t good to someone else, or someone else suffers because of it, is it still a good thing you’ve done?

I could say that being a good person is in the eye of the beholder or that as long as you think what you’re doing is good then you should keep doing it. (There is some truth in the latter.) But if what you’re doing isn’t in fact good and you’ve just convinced yourself that it is then there’s not really anything good about it, it’s just an illusion of good. However, going back to the second part of that statement that has some truth to it;  if what you’re doing is good and you’re not hurting anyone in the process or being intentionally cruel, and it makes you feel good, then you should absolutely keep doing it.

I’m not really sure where I’m going with this because I don’t have a conclusive answer, it’s something that’s been on my mind lately and something of an ongoing internal struggle, I wanted to get it out somewhere.

Do you have a definition of what it means to be a good person? Do you believe you are a good person? Please let me know what you think of this topic, I may write about it again.

Lizzie X

Anxiety at Twenty Øne Pilots Concert

Disclaimer: this post deals with mental health, specifically my experience with anxiety at a concert, just so you’re aware before reading.


“You don’t look very good, why did you even try?”

I rushed to get ready after work on Friday so that I could have some dinner and a drink out before heading to Rod Laver Arena. I caught a glimpse in the mirror at the restaurant and although my hair looked alright, I’d taken the time to straighten it the night before, it wasn’t very vibrant because it needs recolouring and it had dry shampoo in it.

“Yeah, but she’s thin and pretty.”

I wore my black ripped jeans, they’re pretty old now and pretty ripped but they’re comfortable. My black combat boots, they’re falling apart, literally. They barely have any sole left, they’re ripped at the seams and the material is wearing away. I didn’t ear my Twenty One Pilots shirt form last year’s concert because a) I couldn’t find it and b) it probably needed washing, I haven’t worn it in a while because it’s not the kind of shirt I can wear to work and I haven’t been doing much on the weekends. Instead I wore an oversized “boys” charcoal t-shirt that I feel comfortable in. There was a girl there who practically had my hair colour and a girl who almost had my outfit. Both gorgeous. They mightn’t think so but I did.

“People are looking at you and wondering why you’re here all alone.”

I  made it down to my seat, which was at the very front of the lower seating area and on the left of the stairs, meaning it was all by itself, right at the railing. I remember making sure I got a good seat, especially at such a big venue, I wouldn’t be able to handle being the general admission area on the ground, being jostled around by everyone, from all sides. I couldn’t afford taking a day off of work to line up all day to get access to the front. It’s just not plausible. I belong in the seated area.

“They can see right through you.”

There were people shouting across sections to friends that they’d spotted, others singing Happy Birthday in a huge chorus, people rushing around everywhere and laughing. It was that middle section between the supporting act and the main event. I didn’t want to take out my book and start reading, I thought that might be a bit too weird.

I started feeling like I was suffocating and I didn’t want anyone to know.
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Mushy Brain Week

I had one of the worst sleeps I have ever had on Sunday night, I can’t even begin to explain how or why, but it was truly horrible. When I woke I sat straight up convinced I was late for work then realised it was only 4:30 am! A decent hour and half before I needed to be up. When I next woke up I felt disoriented and groggy and exhausted and then I realised my alarms were going off and it was definitely time to get going.

I honestly had to turn my alarms off and calm myself down because I must have been tensed up all night, really struggling against something, even if it was just the sheets. It really threw my morning off. After all I said about Black Hole Sundays being to blame for throwing Mondays in it I had a rotten sleep and it all seemed to just be proving my point.

This week is going by quite quickly. On Sunday night when I posted I thought I’d have something new to post on Wednesday night, but here we are on Wednesday night and my brain has no new things to think to write to post. It’s been a mushy brain week.

I promise my next post will be much better, even if it’s just raving about Twenty One Pilots, who I will be seeing for the second time this Friday night, at least something with more substance than a vague and disturbing dream that I can’t even remember but has somehow stayed with me throughout the week. I do like to discuss dreams though so this will not be the last time they’re mentioned.

I hope your week isn’t speeding away from you, unless, like me,  you have something you cannot wait for on the weekend.

Lizzie X


Black Hole Sundays

Some people love them, some people hate them.

I think I’m conflicted because when I wake up on a Sunday I’m so grateful that it’s Sunday and how luxurious it sounds to be able to stretch out and cuddle back up in bed for a bit longer. Just the thought is blissful!

But then there’s this point during the day, which I can never quite pinpoint because maybe it changes, where Sunday is no longer luxurious and wonderful but instead it turns into this mad rush to do all of the things you wanted to do over the weekend, or perhaps needed to do. As well as preparing for the start of a new week! Ugh.

Hence, why I am sitting at my desk at 11:02 pm with a cup of tea on a Sunday night writing about what I’ve now come to call Black Hole Sundays because I have yet to figure out what I’m wearing tomorrow, my hair is still wet and I said I was going to bed early tonight. And I’ve just remembered that I need to hang out the rest of my washing to air dry, otherwise it’ll start to smell and I do not want to come home to that on a Monday afternoon.

I try to start the new week with a positive attitude but it’s bit hard when you press snooze one too many times because you didn’t get to sleep early enough the night before and then you’re rushed for time to get ready and get out the door etc. I’m coming to realise that maybe it’s not Monday’s fault after all but maybe it’s BHS, all of that extra stress and anxiety that gets piled on right at the end of the day has gotten carried over into the new week essentially dooming Monday before it’s even begun! What a revelation.

I’m hoping I’ll be able to get at least six hours of decent sleep tonight, try and make up for it tomorrow night with an early bedtime, right? I’ve just checked the weather forecast and it’s supposed to be 32ºC (89.6ºF) so I’ll have to sort out something appropriate, even so I’ll feel proper sticky and gross by the end of the day.

Q. Does anyone else feel this way about Sundays? Are they actually great? Do you have anxiety filled Sunday nights as well? Are Mondays really hateful or do they have a reputation? If you feel like sharing your thoughts, I’d love to read them.

I’ve finished my cup of tea so I’m off to bed… after I’ve done my final Sunday tasks.

Lizzie X


Hello reader,

my name is Lizzie, but you could probably guess that already. First of all thanks for being here (it sounds like I’m holding a meeting) but really, thank you. I wanted to create a little space of my own that was somewhere and nowhere, which feels quite fitting really. I would describe myself as quiet, a thinker, an observer, I am an introvert and sometimes I wish I’d get involved more. I think better and express myself better through words and music and expression.

I’ve always been a reader, I love books so much, I’ve created so many escapes in various books by entering their worlds. I’ve also always loved writing, speaking isn’t exactly my thing, not unless I’ve thought about what i’m going to say beforehand. I write all the time because I like to get thoughts and ideas out of my head but then they never go anywhere. I’m not sure where I want them to go, but I think it’s a bit of a waste that they sit around going nowhere. Not that they’re amazing words in the first place but I felt like it was time to do something with them, which is kind of why somewhere and nowhere is so fitting.

Here is where I will share those thoughts, ideas, struggles, book reviews, rants, advice, ramblings and nonsense. I welcome conversation if you feel like you’d like to participate but it’s completely fine if you don’t want to. I understand.

So this is my somewhere and nowhere project. The combination of me and life, the results of which will end up here in whatever format. This is unedited and I may kick myself for that later but for now I’m happy with sharing this.

Lizzie X