“I feel very alone”
“I’m having a bad day”
“I like being alone but I hate feeling lonely”
“I’m sad right now”
“I am surrounded by people and yet feel very alone”
These are all things I’ve put out onto social media at some point recently. Or as I’ve started to think of the varying platforms: The Void. The definition of void that I’m referring to here is defined as “a completely empty space” because I can say or shout or whisper or yell whatever I’m feeling or thinking on whichever platform I choose, and I mainly throw those thoughts and feelings out there so that they’re not manifesting themselves in my head.
I know that there is a chance that I’ll get a response from someone and occasionally I have received some but what I’ve mostly found is that when you try to tell people that you need company, in whatever way you word it, they make excuses or say, “yeah, we need to catch up soon!” but you know they don’t mean it.
In many ways I can’t blame them because they have their own things to deal with, even ones that I may know nothing about. However, when I’m feeling the way that I am when I throw those thoughts and feelings out there, I take those rejections personally. Especially when they come from people that say that they’ll be there for you and support you no matter what. There are always exceptions.
Reading over this post it feels quite dramatic but at the same time this is how I feel when I feel this way and if you know you know. If you don’t know maybe you do now.